


Heartbreak

by kethni



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:38:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11016411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kethni/pseuds/kethni
Summary: Kent closed his eyes in his kitchen and opened them in a hospital operating theatre. Masked faces and gloved hands swam across his vision. A mask was pressed to his nose and mouth.The voices were a meaningless buzz that rose to a roar and then gradually faded as he fell, fell, fell into darkness.





	Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> For Crazymaryt with thanks for the request

Kent closed his eyes in his kitchen and opened them in a hospital operating theatre. Masked faces and gloved hands swam across his vision. A mask was pressed to his nose and mouth.

The voices were a meaningless buzz that rose to a roar and then gradually faded as he fell, fell, fell into darkness.

***

Kent could smell disinfectant and antiseptic. He thought the room was quite small due to the echoes of the other person’s breaking. It was heavy breathing, laboured, and had a hitch at the end of every exhalation. He knew the sound of that breathing. That was why he didn’t open his eyes.

He heard the door to the room squeak open, and soft soled shoes scuffed against the floor.

‘I thought you said he was gonna wake up soon,’ Ben complained.

Kent didn’t hear her reply, but felt a brisk hand take his temperature and shake his shoulder.

‘Wake up, Mr Davison,’ a female voice said.

He sighed, and let his eyes open.

‘The doctor will be around in about an hour,’ she said.

‘What happened?’ Kent asked.

‘Your heart crapped out,’ Ben said.

‘There’s nothing wrong with my heart,’ Kent muttered.

‘You had a serious arrhythmia,’ the nurse said.’ It’s not a heart attack but it was potentially very dangerous. You’ve been fitted with a pacemaker.’

‘I look after myself,’ he protested. ‘I exercise every day.’

‘It’s not a failure on your part,’ she said.

Ben snorted. ‘You should glad you made it to your age before you had a cardiac incident. I wasn’t even forty.’

The nurse gave Kent a sympathetic nod. ‘As we get older some things don’t work quite as well.’

Kent said nothing as she rambled on. Eventually she left, which was a relief. Sadly, she neglected to take Ben with her.

‘You okay?’ Ben said. ‘You look like you can’t decide if you want to cry or throw up.’

‘I want you to go away.’ Kent said.

‘Mortality is a bitch to suddenly trip over,’ Ben said sagely.

Kent narrowed his eyes. ‘Why are you here?’

‘Someone’s gotta be,’ he said. ‘Sue’s on the other side of the country with Selina still. It’s gonna take a few hours for her to come back.’

Kent squeezed his eyes shut.

‘You uh, you want me to call and get her ETA?’ Ben asked.

‘She’s not coming,’ Kent said quietly.

‘Where are you getting that from? Women love looking after sick men.’

Kent shook his head. ‘You only marry nurses.’

‘Same principle. There’s even a... a thing, Florence Nightingale syndrome.’

Kent looked at him. ‘That’s nurses falling in love with patients. You know Sue. Do you imagine for a moment that she has even the merest sliver of sympathy for illness or weakness?’

Ben’s brows drew together. ‘I’m gonna call her.’

‘Please don’t.’

‘You gotta be positive, it’s important for your recovery.’ Ben said. ‘I’m gonna call her and you're gonna sort this out.’

Kent didn’t watch him leave. It was a waste of time he knew. Sue... Sue didn’t understand vulnerability and she had no time for it. The idea that she might actually go out of her way to help him recover was laughably naive.

Kent grimaced as his chest stabbed at him. It wasn’t right. He did everything he was supposed to. It shouldn’t have happened. It wasn’t fair. Kent shook his head. Of all the ridiculous, self-serving, and meaningless arguments to make. Life wasn’t fair. He would have said he didn’t expect life to be fair, and he would have meant it.

But he thought he had more time. Time to find... No. He’d squandered it. He thought, hoped, to have more time with Sue. He’d never expected a happy ever after. The age difference meant that inevitably he would become burdensome, and she had no patience for that. He’d known it was going to happen. He simply thought... he thought it would be in the future. He thought he would be ready when it happened.

‘Hello! I’ve brought you some... Oh!’ Joyce rushed over to the bed waving a Kleenex. ‘It’s okay! You don’t have to –’

‘Will you get out?’ Kent demanded, turning away. He groaned in pain at the movement.

Joyce firmly rolled him onto his back. ‘You don’t need to be embarrassed,’ she said, handing him a Kleenex. ‘I’m a nurse. I’ve seen everything. All the drugs, the operation, nearly dying. Nobody would blame you.’

He swiped his eyes dry. ‘If you’re looking for Ben, he went out to make a call. He’s been gone a considerable amount of time. I assume he’s either wandered away or he’s avoiding me because he’s realised that he was wrong and I’m right.’

‘He’s yelling at someone on his cell,’ Joyce said cheerfully. ‘He always does that when he’s worried.’

‘Yelling what?’

Joyce put her bag on the visitor’s chair and began digging in it. ‘Heartless cow. That sort of thing.’ She gave Kent an impish look. ‘But not cow, you know?’

Kent pulled a face. ‘He must have been talking to someone else.’

Joyce put a stack of worn novels on the bedside table. Kent raised his eyebrows.

‘I know that brain of yours spins away,’ she said. ‘Hospital is boring. These are your sort of books: lasers, and dragons, and spaceships.’

‘My word,’ Kent said. ‘Thank you.’

‘You can give them back to Goodwill when you’ve read them.’ She patted his arm. ‘You’ll be home in a day or maybe two.’

Kent relaxed fractionally. ‘That quickly?’

‘It’s not a huge operation but you can’t rush recovery. A couple of days in hospital, a few days off work, and no wild monkey sex for a couple months.’

His face evidently showed more than he intended because she patted his hand.

‘Not no sex,’ she said. ‘Just nice, gentle sex. Not swinging from the chandelier.’

Kent shifted position. ‘That won’t be a problem.’

The door was thrown open and Ben, red faced and grinding his teeth, stamped in.

‘You have the... Oh, hi honey,’ he said seeing Joyce and deflating.

Kent pressed the bell for the nurse.

‘What do you need?’ Joyce asked.

‘Privacy,’ Kent said.

***

‘Who’d have thought you had a heart that needing keeping pace,’ Selina said.

Kent’s smile was weak and fleeting. ‘It was a good idea to visit, Ma’am. A good optic,’ he said. ‘But I’m sure your schedule is very busy.’

Selina cocked her head. ‘Are you throwing me out?’

Kent sighed. ‘I just wish to hide under the bedclothes until the situation ends.’

A touch of genuine concerned flitted across Selina’s face like a rare butterfly.

‘Is it horrible?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

She bit her lip. ‘Did you see a light or anything?’

Kent shook his head. ‘But I can feel the equipment. I’ll always be able to feel it.’

Gary gasped. Selina ignored him.

‘That fucking blows,’ she said.

‘Agreed.’

She was fidgeting, unsure what to do with her hands. ‘But you’re gonna be okay? When are you coming back to work?’

Kent sat up straighter, glad for the change of subject. ‘A week if all goes well, but they are releasing me tomorrow. I’ll catch up on things from home.’

‘Good,’ Selina said. ‘The place would go to hell with you both off for a week.’

‘Both?’ Kent asked blankly.

She looked at Gary. ‘You said they were still together.’

‘They are,’ he protested.

Kent sighed. ‘If you’re referring to Miss Wilson, I have no reason to believe she will not be at work as normal. I haven’t spoken to her since... this.’

‘What?’ Gary, asked. ‘That’s _crazy_! She should be here taking care of you.’

In a way, Selina’s look of sheer disbelief was something of a relief. Kent was starting to think he was either cruelly slandering Sue, or that everyone knew a different person.

‘Sue’s like PETA for people,’ Selina said. ‘One cough and it’d be a pillow over the face for your own good.’

‘Probably for the best then that I’ve had no communication from her,’ Kent said quietly.

Selina didn’t know what to say to that. Kent was quite used to people looking that way, although it was generally a less... emotionally charged situation.

‘I’ll have someone from my team liaise with Ben about my return,’ Kent said.

‘Great,’ Selina said, standing up. ‘Or you could tell him.’

‘Probably not,’ he said carefully. ‘I had him escorted out when he refused to leave.’

Selina grinned. ‘There’s a few people I’d like to do that to.’

‘So many,’ Gary said, nodding.

***

Amy nodded and appeared to listen to everything the nurse was saying. She was doing a more convincing job of pretending to be his partner that Sue ever managed.

‘If that happens then you bring him right back here,’ the nurse said.

‘Absolutely,’ Amy said.

As they left the hospital, she gave Kent the paperwork.

‘Why isn’t Sue here pretending that you won’t be home alone?’

‘You would have to ask her,’ Kent said. ‘She doesn’t seem to be taking my calls.’

Amy opened her car door, not noticing him struggle with his. ‘Oh. I guess that’s what Ben was ranting about.’

Kent wasn’t interested in discussing it and doubted that Amy wanted to either. She didn’t seem interested in her own private life, let alone anyone else’s. It was one reason that he had asked Amy, because he knew she wouldn’t care that he wasn’t supposed to go home alone. She certainly hadn’t hesitated to break him out.

Amy put her foot down and the car accelerated away before Kent had opened his front door. He stepped into the house, winced at the unusual warmth, and shut the door behind him.

The thermostat had been nudged up, which he didn’t remember doing. He walked into the study and Archimedes chirped a welcome. That was uncharacteristic. By now he should very hungry, and Archimedes was extremely vocal when hungry. By now he should be pestering continuously.

Kent gave the cat a little fuss and then walked into the kitchen. He put the teakettle on and opened refrigerator. It had a number of small Tupperware containers. They weren’t his. His were plain and these were brightly coloured. He made the mistake of reaching for one with the wrong arm, and cursed silently at the pain. When the colours had stopped exploding in front of his eyes, he got the milk with the correct arm and pushed the door shut. As he made himself a cup of tea, he glanced over at Archimedes’ bowl. There were a few dry biscuits in it. Archimedes would have never left those in his bowl overnight.

The doorbell chimed.

Kent shoved the milk back into the refrigerator, shut the door, and stamped to the front door. The silhouette visible through the artistically clouded glass was of a tall, dark woman. For the length of a thought the idea flashed up that perhaps it was Sue.

‘It’s Sophie,’ she said brightly. From the tone of her voice it was supposed to mean something to him, but it didn’t.

He waited.

‘From the agency,’ she added. ‘For Mr Davison who has just been released following the implantation of a pacemaker.’

She had a large bag and was wearing the clean and comfortable clothes favoured by people in physically demanding jobs.

‘I don’t know anything about an agency,’ he said flatly.

‘It was arranged by Miss... Wilson and is being billed to a corporate account,’ she said, handing over a business card. ‘I do need to use your facilities even if you’re going to tell me you don’t want a nurse,’ she said.

Kent stood aside to let her enter. ‘Do people often refuse your services?’

‘More than I’d like but less than you’d fear,’ she said. ‘It can be an issue of pride.’

‘It’s humiliating,’ Kent said quietly.

She met his eyes. ‘I’m sorry that you feel so,’ she said. ‘But I acknowledge it. I’ll do my best to avoid making you feel that way. I’m here as a tool to get you back to your life as soon as possible.’

‘Were you here this morning?’ he asked.

‘No, I was told you were being released this afternoon. Why?’

Kent shook his head. ‘Someone fed my cat. Put food in the refrigerator.’

She laughed. ‘Wasn’t me. Even if I had a key, I wouldn’t wander in and fill your kitchen with food. I might feed your cat though.’

Kent smiled slightly at that. ‘That’s good to know.’

***

Sue didn’t answer her cell or her landline. Kent didn’t wish to text her, partly because it was not a medium for nuance and subtlety, but mostly because he dreaded the thought of having unanswered texts on his cell. A written history of neediness and the refusal to accept that another woman had cut him from her life.

But she had put food in his refrigerator. When Sophie took one of the containers out for him he saw that it was labelled in Sue’s neat handwriting. There was even the slight smear of ink from the side of her left hand as she wrote.

A couple of hours after Sophie left, a household aide arrived to do laundry, wash up and do other chores. Sue was outsourcing her half of their relationship. He was hoping that she hadn’t hired someone for the only remaining part.

He wrote a text but didn’t send it. He stared at it. Read and re-read it. It was pathetic. Humiliating. If nothing else, he still had his dignity. He tried to work instead. It was irritatingly slow going.

He deleted the draft text.

Wrote another one.

Kent turned off his cell. He never turned off his cell during the day, but he needed… he needed to remove the temptation.

This isn’t a mystery, he told himself. There’s no discussion to be had. She has made her feelings plain and clear. Talking to her would change nothing.

No, that wasn’t true. Talking to her would only make things worse. He would become angry and she would become defensive. He needed to keep his temper. All he had now was his dignity. He refused to humiliate himself further than he already had.

He shouldn’t be angry. He’d always known that their relationship was based on mutual independence and self-sufficiency. If she were ill then she _certainly_ wouldn’t want him to look after her. He had a creeping but insistent suspicion that she would take it _extremely_ amiss if he ever had attempted it. So, he could hardly expect her to be here. Sue had many qualities that he admired greatly or found highly stimulating. It would be ridiculous to be churlish that she didn’t meet some ideal that existed in his head.

Kent took a deep breath and released it slowly. He went into his bedroom, put on some background music, and sat on the floor. He wasn’t in the correct frame of mind to meditate and of course that was when he needed it most. He crossed his legs, ankles on his knees, and rested his hands on his feet. The medical staff had been quite insistent that he avoid any kind of strenuous exercise. At the moment just sitting on the floor had felt strenuous enough. After meditating he would try some very gentle stretches. Otherwise he’d begin to lose flexibility. He had enough to worry about with adding that.

***

He didn’t text. Over the next few days he was quite proud of himself for that, and then chagrined that he was proud of it. He answered his emails, he Skyped with his team, and he even spoke to Furlong when he called with his typical foul-mouthed abuse salted with a sprinkling of sympathy. When Ben came to the house Kent considered hiding in the basement, but suspected that wouldn’t deter the other man.

‘You’re coming back on Monday, right?’ Ben asked.

‘Yes, that’s my intention,’ Kent said. ‘I have no reason to believe that will change.’

‘Thank Christ,’ Ben said with a heavy sigh. ‘I can’t deal with these fucking children and idiots. You’re a fucking robot but at least you’re an adult robot with an IQ above room temperature.’

Kent narrowed his eyes. ‘Thank you for that glowing recommendation.’

‘What do you want, roses? I just want you to come back to work, I’m not trying to get into your panties.’

‘That is indeed a weight off my mind.’

Ben chugged his coffee. ‘I don’t think I’m your type and fuck knows that I’m not yours.’

Kent snorted. ‘Given that I’m not a female Asian-American nurse…’

‘They weren’t all nurses,’ Ben protested.

Kent gave him a look.

‘No, wait, yes they were. Fuck.’ Ben scratched his stomach. ‘This is your first cardiac event, huh?’

The small muscles around Kent’s mouth tensed. ‘My only event.’

‘Yeah, you think that now.’

Kent rolled his eyes. ‘Are you supposed to be making me feel better?’

‘Better?’ Ben asked. ‘Why the fuck would you think that? I’m just here to make sure you get your ass back into work.’

Kent sighed. ‘Somehow that is the most reassuring thing you’ve said.’

***

Kent always woke early. He had invested in heavy duty blackout drapes in the hopes of sleeping past the dawn, but to no avail. On Sunday morning he woke up, took his painkillers, did some stretches, an hour of meditation, and two hours of yoga. As he walked towards the shower, he heard a sound downstairs. A slight squeak. Perhaps the front door being closed. Kent listened for a moment but heard nothing else. He walked downstairs but saw nothing obviously different in the living room. Outside was quiet, aside from a car in the distance which was accelerating away. Sue’s car.

Kent returned to the house. Sue was many things, but he would have never described her as mysterious or enigmatic. She had a key to his house, it was a practical measure as he often worked much longer hours than she did. She had never before let herself in when he was in the house. He couldn’t imagine why she would have done so now, let alone without announcing her presence.

Living room – no change, study – no change, kitchen… wait. The Tupperware containers that he had already emptied and washed out had been taken away. He wished that he’d never eaten the damn food. He had considered simply disposing of it, but that would have been petty and self-sabotaging. In the usual scheme of things Kent could and did cook. He wasn’t someone who ate much or often, but he was very particular about what he did eat. However, given that he couldn’t lift anything, and shouldn’t even raise his arm to chest height, heating up Sue’s prepared meals was about all he could manage.

There were fresh meals in the refrigerator. She had driven over at six-thirty on a Sunday morning to put soups and meals in his refrigerator.

He was shaking as he called her number. She didn’t answer. She had come into his house in the early hours of the morning and she _still_ wouldn’t answer his _fucking_ call.

He ignored his carefully constructed draft text and wrote another one.

**What are you doing?**

He could have written more. He wanted to write more but some shred of self-control asserted itself and stopped him.

**I’m about to go to my MMA morning class.**

Each individual word made sense. In some parallel universe, the sentence made sense. But not here. Here he was staring at it as if it were written in Swahili.

**Why won’t you take my calls?**

**This is a bad time. I’m very busy.**

**I have been calling you for DAYS.**

**I’m going in to my class now.**

That was it. No explanation. He hadn’t expected an apology. Of course not, Sue was fucking incapable of taking responsibility for anything.

Kent turned his cell off. This wasn’t helping him. This was as far from helping him as possible. He took several deep breaths. This was ridiculous. He was a grown man. He needed to shake this off and prepare to return to work.

Right.

He needed to leave the house. He couldn’t go for a run or a hike. He couldn’t go for a ride on his motorcycle or take out his boat. A walk then. He could do that. A nice long walk listening to some music. That would clear his head.

He’d taken Sue for a few long walks mostly in Rock Creek Park. They didn’t have the kind of relationship where they talked a lot, or deeply. But they had comfortable enough silences and enjoyed simply spending time together. That had been fine with Kent, if pressed he would admit that he found conversation difficult.

He knew from observation that in almost any dialogue he was almost always out of key, sometimes a little, and sometimes a lot. When he was younger, he had spent a lot of time, invested a lot of effort, in trying to recalibrate. Trying to sing in the right key. As he matured, he learned that the more he “corrected,” the further he skewed away. But he had eventually found that people who valued him would work around him. People who liked him, and there had been a few, accepted it.    

He used his walk to think about work. Not the office politics or the internecine strife that plagued Washington but the complex details of various problems. The _hows_ , rather than the _whys_. There was something reassuring about it. No matter how complicated, no matter how taxing, they were explicable. People were illogical, irrational, inexplicable. If he were a tenth as cold, emotionless, and robotic as some people assumed, then it wouldn’t bother him as much as it did.

***

Kent slept particularly badly that night. He had been sleeping poorly since his operation, even with painkillers the discomfort made it difficult for him to settle. He woke sore and still exhausted after his long walk in the park. He spent too long in the shower, hoping the warm water would ease his muscles, and then got a Lyft to work.

Despite accessing his emails at home work had, of course, piled up. It was a relief to throw himself into it. Although he heard others arriving at work, he didn’t leave his office until his lack of movement caused a violent cramp in his leg. He straightened his leg, groaning at the ache, and pushed his chair back from the desk. He checked his cell and realised that he’d been sat for almost three hours. Certainly, it was time for him to take a walk, if only to establish that he had returned to work, and to stretch his legs.

That meant walking past Sue, something currently against all his inclinations and desires. He opened his door precisely enough for him to hear the conversation in the room beyond without drawing the attention of anyone out there.

He heard the telephone trill and Sue answer it. Kent opened his door further and marched past her desk with his face averted. At least, that was his intention. The cramp in his leg was still throbbing violently and he found himself limping as he left. It began to ease as he reached his Dream Metrics team office. It was a long-term project but one which was seeing important and interesting data. His team members were picked for their abilities, not for their social skills, and most of them reacted to his presence in precisely the same way as if they had only seen him the day before. It was a level of social engagement with which he was quite comfortable.

He was less than thrilled when Ben shambled in, hitched up his pants, and announced that Selina wished to see them both. Selina was erratic in her social interactions. Keeping up with her rapidly vacillating moods was difficult even for her nearest and most enduring advisors. Kent had no chance. He found the best option was not to try.

Sue was at her desk. She glanced at them as they walked past but Kent avoided her eye. Getting into a disagreement right outside Selina’s office would hardly be professional.

Selina yanked open the door. ‘Sue, I need you to come in and take notes.’

Kent set his shoulders as he followed Ben into the Oval Office. At Selina’s gesture, they sat on the couch. Sue stood in a corner of the room, uncomfortably in Kent’s eyeline. He crossed his legs and concentrated on Selina. That was easy enough, Selina was a loud, crude, and rapidly moving ball of energy. It was always easier to pay attention to her than to ignore her.

Afterwards, Kent briskly left the office, striding towards to his office.

‘Mr Davison,’ Sue said. ‘Do you have a moment to sign your return to work forms?’

‘No.’ He shut his office door behind him and sank into his chair. It was too early for his painkillers, but he took them anyway and washed them down with a cup of herbal tea. He took off his jacket, closed his eyes, and squeezed the bridge of his nose.

He opened his eyes when someone opened the door. Sue walked in, shuffling some paperwork.

‘I need this signing,’ she said, holding it out to him.

He snatched it from her, scanned it, signed it, and shoved it back at her.

Sue stared at him without taking the offered paperwork. ‘Whatever has irritated you, do not take it out on me.’

Kent screwed the papers into a ball and threw them at the door. ‘You can leave now.’

She took a step back. ‘Why are you behaving like this?’

‘You have been refusing my calls for days,’ he said. ‘You didn’t come to the hospital –’

‘I don’t have the disposition to deal with the sick or invalid,’ she said. ‘It’s nothing to do with you.’

Kent narrowed his eyes. ‘I nearly died and you brushed me aside.’

She tightly crossed her arms. ‘I did no such thing.’

‘Even _the president_ came to the hospital,’ he said. ‘But not you.’

Sue pursed her lips. ‘We can talk about this when you’ve overcome your ridiculous self-pity.’

‘Don’t bother.’ Kent looked at his laptop. ‘You’ve made your disinclination to continue our friendship crystal clear.’

‘What?’ she asked flatly.

Kent waved his hand. ‘You heard me.’

She slapped him, the flat of her hand striking against his cheek.

He looked up, more surprised than hurt. ‘What the hell –’

‘I do not have the disposition to deal with the sick and invalid,’ she repeated coldly. ‘I engaged a nurse to provide you with medical attention, a home aide to look after the house, and I brought you meals. What more could you possibly want from me?’

‘I wanted _you_ ,’ he said.

Sue set her jaw. ‘You nearly died.’

Kent stared at her. ‘That’s _why_ I wanted you.’

Sue folded her arms tightly. ‘It was distressing.’ She struggled to force out her words. ‘Frightening.’

He was quiet for a moment. Then he stood up.

Sue watched him suspiciously as he reached out and gently took her hand in his.

‘I was frightened,’ he said. ‘I was distressed.’

She sighed and closed her eyes. Kent moved closer and put his other arm around her waist.

Sue rested her head against his chest. Kent closed his eyes and kissed her cheek.

‘I spent hours cooking those meals,’ she grumbled.

‘They have all been excellent,’ he promised.

She patted his back, and he knew the moment was over. Kent dropped his arms and she stepped away.

‘Will I see you tonight?’ he asked.

Sue smoothed her blouse. ‘I assume that you are to avoid anything strenuous.’

Kent raised his eyebrows. ‘I believe that I was told to stick to “gentle” sex.’

‘That will have novelty value if nothing else.’ Sue kissed him. ‘Enough of that. We are at work.’

Kent smiled. ‘Yes we are.’

‘I will see you later,’ she said.

‘Good.’


End file.
